Getting a Life back...

Its been a long time since I last posted...So long that I am not even sure that my avid readers actually remember my URL ;)

I was out of action for a long time due to a very untimely accident (are they ever timely u ask..well they are sometimes). This Hyderabad traffic finally got to me. I have been scared out of my wits driving on the killer roads here but this time it had something special in store for me.

I was out driving at 11:30 in the night. The weather was great...the wind was blowing and I was feeling very happy to be where I was. And then a golden colour Maruti 800 ( i see all this later whenever I relive those moments in slow motion) came careening towards out of nowhere. I saw the two headlights of a car and suddenly they turned four and before I could realise what was happening it was too late. The smart ass driver realised too late that he would not be able to overtake smoothly, braked hard and hit me (where exactly i didnt know till a few seconds later). I knew that he hit me and the bike...I was furious and couldnt control my anger. I got off the bike with a little difficulty and shouted at the driver who stopped the car a little far from the spot. He spat back at me saying that I was driving wrong :) and I knew that its another one of those hyd drivers (no offences people but I have little respect left for those who are endangering lives of others but just dont seem to realise this).

--- >You may not want to read the next paragraph as I describe what I went through after that...skip it if you dont like gory details...I just have to write all this to get it out of me...

And then I realised that my sandals are a little sticky. I saw I was bleeding but there was hardly any pain. It was dark and I couldnt see my wound. I tried lifting my right foot but it stung me. I moved into the light and saw that half of my big toe was not there. I could see part of my bone exposed. Half of the nail was still sticking out lamely and there was blood on the spot where I was standing. It was a horrible sight to look at and I couldnt believe my eyes at first. I was just left looking at it and forgot about the car and taking down its number. The nice guy saw my wound, turned on his heels and ran away. I knew that I was in trouble. I was going to lose a toe and I felt odd, empty inside and so cold. It was one of those moments where you are not even forced to think...what next? I later also got to know that other half of my toe was stuck between the bike gaurd and the engine...crushed.

I called up my friends and told them I had an accident. Told them where I was with as much calm as I could muster. Sat on the curb there waiting for them, answering their calls about my whereabouts. A couple of security gaurds saw the scene and had come to my help. They gave me water and asked me if I needed help (sometimes I feel as if only the underpriviliged like them have the heart and time to care for someone unknown). I asked them to leave as I wanted to be left alone before my tryst with the hospital started. The blessed people didnt leave and stayed there till all my friends arrived all at once. Anuj came with his room mates car and helped me onto the back seat. Ravi also came with me in the car and in the short discussion that followed it was decided that Apollo Hospital would be the best option right now. Suman drove my bike (which was still in mint condition) to the hospital. Ramu and muffu came on their bikes to the hospital and got me admitted. The doctors told me that they wont be able to save all of my toe and will salvage as much as possible. I am sure they tried hard enough. I am right now back in shape and almost as active as ever :) Work never stops but now I make sure I do. Make sure to spend time with myself and with my loved ones.

I will stop here as after this a long period of struggle and immense pain started. The surgery and the post surgery period is another complete experience in itself. I will keep that for some other time before you guys fall asleep

The accident and the ensuing few minutes taught me how vulnerable and fragile we are. You can be as mentally and emotionally strong as you want but when you get hit by a car you will still be physically hurt. I have been blessed with the friends and my family who stood by me and never at once let me lose myself. Tears actually fill my eyes as I write this when I think of that night. Not by the pain that I still feel but knowing how lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my life. I shrug to think of what could have happened had it not been for my friends who made sure that I was never alone until they themselves felt comfortable leaving me alone. Just like the security gaurds:)

My friends couldnt save my toe but they unknowingly told me what makes your life worth living. Not money...not all the comforts you can buy with money (you still need it for the treatment though). Just plain love and friendship will get through you everything.

This blog goes out to all my friends...Ravi, Suman, Muffu, Ramu, Anuj, Deepti, Radha, Goa, Krishna, Vishy, Ipsita, Anant, Ashish, Dukkar, Fidel, Nildeep, Chetan...

As for my bike...Well it still needs to undergo a few reapirs. Then I will sell it off. I have realised, a little late maybe but nevertheless, that the thrill of a bike ride is not worth my life. Fortunately a bike's broken parts can be replaced. I sometimes wish I could get a new toe. But my half toe will always remind me of that time when I was never alone and what I got in return losing it is worth much more than that.

Love you all...Keep smiling,

Sameer

Rain and Earth...

There is something that has been repeated and reiterated time and again...its the description of the most beautiful smell on earth...

No prizes for guessing what it is...the smell of rain on a thirsty dry parched earth...I can smell it as I write this...

It feels as if mother earth has just let out a deep sigh...a thankful cry of sheer pleasure...thanking the rain god for the "longed for" rain...

It truly is refreshing to go out at this time when the same heat that boils us over is the same that now cools the frayed nerves...

Well for the souls who are waiting for something to cool you down...this is the ultimate remedy!!!

And as for the souls who are just looking for an opportunity to let go and do absolutely nothing then this is the perfect weather to do it in :)

I for this once will keep this one short and would rather let myself and you enjoy the weather...
cheers guys...
Sameer

Life...here i come!!!

Well i am back real soon...sooner that i myself expected (let alone anyone else)!!!

I got a really important piece of advice that i plan to religiously follow...the veterans told me to that i need to be more focussed in my approach...well i thought this was one place where that was not not needed:(
Anyway so much for that...i promised to bring something more concrete to my readers (to bang their heads against) and i can never stop my myself from fulfilling my promises:)

Since my first post left a lot of people disappointed then here it is for them...guys this is for you (they know who...)

well a little background first...i wrote this poem during my traning for my present company on a weekend when i had nothing better to do...this was also the last poem i wrote before i ran out of inspiration to write any again for the next two years...anyway thats not important...what goes next is.

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Life Itself

He began his journey with a heart full of hope and a determined face,
but he soon realised that life is not a bed of roses.
He's trying to make everything fall in place,
but he just can't answer all the questions it poses.

With obstacles aplenty and the waters troubled,
now he has nothing to hold onto and he sits alone, huddled.
Picking up the rocks life is presenting to him with no strength at his call,
he is trying to build a bridge but running into the perpetual wall.

With pieces of his world lying scattered around him,
he's standing amongst ruins when he wanted to walk tall.
Plunging into the darkness below with no end in sight,
he is holding onto his life trying to break his own fall.

He is gasping for life, a life he can call his own,
still fighting a vain fight with unflinching fear.
A salty streak runs down his face.
He does not know if its sweat or a solitary tear.

He looks back at the times goneby,
and asks himself one question...why?
For all he tried to gain in fame and fortitude,
he lost all he had and all that is left is his solitude.

Where from does he come and where to does he go?
With nothing to hold onto and nothing to show.
His march to glory, is this what he chose?
He now wishes to end his tale of unending woes.

He does not know what's waiting for him on the other side.
He has everywhere to run but nowhere to hide.
Forced his way out of the river of happiness to the ocean of sadness,
he's paying with his life for that one moment of madness.

Then like a flickering candle in the wailing wind,
in the blinding shadows is a shining beacon of light.
His body aches and begs him to stop,
but he is willing enough to put up one last fight.

A glimmer of strength, a trace of hope rises in him,
and it pushes him forward to the final bend, the defining end.
He wants to feel firm ground beneath his feet and touch the sky.
All he wants now is to be at peace with himself and let his spirit free to fly.

And then suddenly the clouds part above him and on him the sun shines.
He wonders if this is the vision for which his heart pines.
He takes a step towards his dream and smells the air.
His soul rejuvenates and he knows he is finally there.

He remembers the torrid time when he was all by himself,
but he can now at last look forward to love, happiness and Life itself

**********************************************************

Well so much for that...hope you liked it!!!
This is one of my favourites...I read it when i am sitting alone sometimes...it kind of gives me something to think about...all is not lost...it's never as bad as u think...keep working at it...just hang in there. You get the drift right...and then i put my notebook down and go to sleep over the lessons learnt so that i can revisit them later :)

While you might want to read it again to see what i am saying;)...its me signing off,

Until next time...keep rocking!!!
Sameer

There's always a first time...

Well so much for the start. And so here begins my foray in this place which I believe is already over crowded. Never knew what the fuss was about so here I am joining hands with you all. People are blogging their hearts, minds, souls and lots of other things out. I wonder if anyone will ever read my second blog. But then that’s the least of my problems as of now. What is a cause of concern is how do I go about writing my first blog? I got my URL and the blog almost 2 weeks ago and it took me this long to gather my thoughts (well that’s just a figure of expression, I am still lost). Feeling a little curious about my URL are you...its a very very long story (even longer than the URL) and we will get to the nitty gritties later. For now all I can tell you is that this was the starting line of a small 4 liner I wrote very very long ago. Yes, I have tried my hands at writing at poetry and this is the first thing that comes closest to prose (if its ok with you if I call it so).
Well I made a list of what all I could write in my first entry here...here are a few that I had on my agenda...a new restaurant in town (naah...i will save that when I want to right but have nothing else to write about), a novel I am reading (will do so when I am done with it) and even about how much I hate pets (as orkut says, they belong to the zoo...no offences to people out there who adore them).
Now even after writing 263 words till now I am still nowhere close to even starting something to write about let alone close it. I wonder if I would be able to survive for long in this place with my imagination and creativity which I now realise is in extremely short supply (340). Well the place where we work doesn’t require too much creativity and if anyone stays for too long then all they eventually see is the lighter side of life (and everything is blurred). It’s the long hours staring at the monitor I am talking about. Only if my boss sees me putting in this much dedication for my work then he would make sure to give me so much of it that I am never able to show so much devotion towards anything ever again.
And before that happens lets just end the first chapter (although a little prematurely than I would have liked). I am hoping that I will be back real soon because I have something more concrete planned for the readers for the next time (I just pray that they are there). This is just like one of those end of serials teasers to get more people to read my blog. Well as they say...watch out for this space!!!!

Cheers,
Sameer


p.s. you might want to save my URL somewhere. It would be a heartbreaker if you went through with writing such a long address and then seeing that u misspelt something. And I don’t want that to be a deterrent for you all to come in again. Or you can add me to your favourites list so that you never have to write the address again but then that’s just a suggestion:)

Post p.s. please motivate me by leaving a few lines of appreciation (depreciation, although not welcome, will also do). Have a good time guys. See you soon!!!