Getting a Life back...

Its been a long time since I last posted...So long that I am not even sure that my avid readers actually remember my URL ;)

I was out of action for a long time due to a very untimely accident (are they ever timely u ask..well they are sometimes). This Hyderabad traffic finally got to me. I have been scared out of my wits driving on the killer roads here but this time it had something special in store for me.

I was out driving at 11:30 in the night. The weather was great...the wind was blowing and I was feeling very happy to be where I was. And then a golden colour Maruti 800 ( i see all this later whenever I relive those moments in slow motion) came careening towards out of nowhere. I saw the two headlights of a car and suddenly they turned four and before I could realise what was happening it was too late. The smart ass driver realised too late that he would not be able to overtake smoothly, braked hard and hit me (where exactly i didnt know till a few seconds later). I knew that he hit me and the bike...I was furious and couldnt control my anger. I got off the bike with a little difficulty and shouted at the driver who stopped the car a little far from the spot. He spat back at me saying that I was driving wrong :) and I knew that its another one of those hyd drivers (no offences people but I have little respect left for those who are endangering lives of others but just dont seem to realise this).

--- >You may not want to read the next paragraph as I describe what I went through after that...skip it if you dont like gory details...I just have to write all this to get it out of me...

And then I realised that my sandals are a little sticky. I saw I was bleeding but there was hardly any pain. It was dark and I couldnt see my wound. I tried lifting my right foot but it stung me. I moved into the light and saw that half of my big toe was not there. I could see part of my bone exposed. Half of the nail was still sticking out lamely and there was blood on the spot where I was standing. It was a horrible sight to look at and I couldnt believe my eyes at first. I was just left looking at it and forgot about the car and taking down its number. The nice guy saw my wound, turned on his heels and ran away. I knew that I was in trouble. I was going to lose a toe and I felt odd, empty inside and so cold. It was one of those moments where you are not even forced to think...what next? I later also got to know that other half of my toe was stuck between the bike gaurd and the engine...crushed.

I called up my friends and told them I had an accident. Told them where I was with as much calm as I could muster. Sat on the curb there waiting for them, answering their calls about my whereabouts. A couple of security gaurds saw the scene and had come to my help. They gave me water and asked me if I needed help (sometimes I feel as if only the underpriviliged like them have the heart and time to care for someone unknown). I asked them to leave as I wanted to be left alone before my tryst with the hospital started. The blessed people didnt leave and stayed there till all my friends arrived all at once. Anuj came with his room mates car and helped me onto the back seat. Ravi also came with me in the car and in the short discussion that followed it was decided that Apollo Hospital would be the best option right now. Suman drove my bike (which was still in mint condition) to the hospital. Ramu and muffu came on their bikes to the hospital and got me admitted. The doctors told me that they wont be able to save all of my toe and will salvage as much as possible. I am sure they tried hard enough. I am right now back in shape and almost as active as ever :) Work never stops but now I make sure I do. Make sure to spend time with myself and with my loved ones.

I will stop here as after this a long period of struggle and immense pain started. The surgery and the post surgery period is another complete experience in itself. I will keep that for some other time before you guys fall asleep

The accident and the ensuing few minutes taught me how vulnerable and fragile we are. You can be as mentally and emotionally strong as you want but when you get hit by a car you will still be physically hurt. I have been blessed with the friends and my family who stood by me and never at once let me lose myself. Tears actually fill my eyes as I write this when I think of that night. Not by the pain that I still feel but knowing how lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my life. I shrug to think of what could have happened had it not been for my friends who made sure that I was never alone until they themselves felt comfortable leaving me alone. Just like the security gaurds:)

My friends couldnt save my toe but they unknowingly told me what makes your life worth living. Not money...not all the comforts you can buy with money (you still need it for the treatment though). Just plain love and friendship will get through you everything.

This blog goes out to all my friends...Ravi, Suman, Muffu, Ramu, Anuj, Deepti, Radha, Goa, Krishna, Vishy, Ipsita, Anant, Ashish, Dukkar, Fidel, Nildeep, Chetan...

As for my bike...Well it still needs to undergo a few reapirs. Then I will sell it off. I have realised, a little late maybe but nevertheless, that the thrill of a bike ride is not worth my life. Fortunately a bike's broken parts can be replaced. I sometimes wish I could get a new toe. But my half toe will always remind me of that time when I was never alone and what I got in return losing it is worth much more than that.

Love you all...Keep smiling,

Sameer